Tuesday, October 04, 2005

moments of poverty


"The fact that Anna is somewhere
having coffee or a dream
is an assault on me.
I hate these moments of poverty."
(excerpt from "Plainwater" by Anne Carson)


i hate them because they remind me
of where you are not
and come with a promise
to break everything that we've got.
...
they threaten to replace
all that is beautiful between us
with sadness and loss
and you might start a conversation
you won't want to stop.
...
they creep up on me unexpectedly
steal my joy
leave me isolated from hope
and my only company
is a noisy mind trying to unravel
the reasons why
i should stay or i should go.
i feel lost.
...
i hate these moments of poverty
because they quiet my heart.

33 comments:

transience said...

there were so many bits and pieces of this i liked. it's both sad and expectant and the combination of feelings just makes me see how beautiful it is.

gusgreeper said...

i loved that made me think of me and my parents. or lack there of.

Lorena said...

thanks transience :) !! i'm always happy to read your feedback.

gusgreeper :: did it? i can see how. hope you are doing well :)

Brood Mode said...

sad but beautiful

Ghost Particle said...

thought provoking and deep. Very nicely written. Hope one day there wont be any poverty in the world.

Amie said...

yes such a sad poem but nevertheless it's a lovely one

Paul said...

Yeah, there's that other kind of quiet heart that everyone feels sometimes - desolation more than peace...

sirbarrett said...

I don't know what this is about, but it reminded me of having emotional debt.

I hate thinking when my thoughts are more in tune with where I'm not than where I am. Thoughts turned into numb gatherers and inventory-takers of what you've lost. The world of regrets is a terrible place. It is like astral-projecting to somewhere where you see how much better off a place is without you. Your souls cringes and burrows itself in. When anxiety starts, all the reasons won't stop, and it's all you can hear, even though 'the reasons' don't explain themselves nor agree enough to solve the issue. But you don't have to torture yourself. You have a great wealth in your mind and in your dreams. They will carry you. Hopefully your heart can sing again.

iamnasra said...

I was almost in tears reading this..Life has its share of unfairness at least that what feel at times...the out come of it either we allow it to dig more in to our emotional flesh or become stronger than its frequent stabs

gulnaz said...

this was bloody fantastic!
so poignant, so full of love and yearning!
excellent, excellent, excellent!

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

Like you sometimes I dwell on the lives wasted, its so vast, love the play on words there are many forms of poverty

Jaxe said...

*curls up and lays down at Lorena's feet* Thank God your still here. I needed to escape the day, and this blog always gets me away with its beautiful blend of art, expression and wordcraft. This is no exception, L!

i hate them because they remind me
of where you are not


... is all I needed to read before my mind was swept away in the sweetest of hello / goodbyes. Brings a tear to my sentimental eye everytime. I mean the reason we are all here is love, right? Who are we fooling to think otherwise.

Thanks L, for being you!

j

mermaid said...

You couldn't have picked a better excerpt or picture to go with your words. Loved the juxtaposition of silence and noise in this.

. : A : . said...

Love the light in which you have written this. There is so much packed in these few words.

-raindrops- said...

and my only company
is a noisy mind trying to unravel
the reasons why
i should stay or i should go.
i feel lost.


this hit me big time.

Pirate said...

That was beautiful. As someone who did grow up in what might say poverty I don't think we ever saw it until later in life.

Carrie said...

that is so my life....
i'm glad i could make u laugh beautiful.....
have a nice weekend.....

EGO SVM CAROLVS said...

Made me pause. Excellent. :]

Potted-flower said...

poverty of what?

Moon River said...

Hi Lorena, I wanted to share this words with you:

"It is not what you look at that matters, it is what you see. The earth is not a mere fragment of dead history stratum upon stratum, like the leaves of a book, to be studied by geologists...but a living poetry...not a fossil earth, but a living earth." - Henry David Thoreau

DeeM said...

This so hits home right now.
It's incredibly beautiful and poignant.

Lorena said...

thanks brood mode!

thanks ghost particle and amie.

paul :: yes, i guess you have to take the good with the bad.

sirbarrett :: what a lovely, inspirational comment you left :) very thought-provoking. i'm glad you always share your insight!

iamnasra :: great way to put it. it's ok to sit with pain for a little while but you do have to get up and make things change. thanks nasra.

gulnaz :: thanks thanks thanks :)

sue hardy-dawson :: yes there are. thanks.

jaxe :: yes, love IS why we all are here and if we don't have that it's a cold place. thanks for your sweet words!!! brought a smile to my face.

mermaid :: thanks! i'm glad you could see some of what i felt in the photograph.

thanks .:A:. and rain :)

pirate :: it's great that you didn't see it until later in life because it shows that you felt rich in the places that matter. thanks for visiting :)

mitzee :: hope you had a great weekend as well :)

thanks carolvs :)

potted flower :: emotional poverty.

moon river :: thanks for sharing that quote, i love quotes! i've read so many and yet i don't think i've run across this one. i'm glad you brought some light to this post with those words :)

deem :: thanks, glad to see you back :)!! hope you are doing well.

irina said...

But then again... the happiest persons are not those who have the most, but those who wish the least...

Free Spirit said...

The sadness contained was so subtle, that I failed to hear its steps until it touched me in my heart with a soft sigh.

stella said...

so profound. the feelings of being love starved when one goes without it. like nourishment for soul.

Lorena said...

irina :: that's true. but this wasn't dealing with materialistic poverty.
still wishing for too much does make you unhappy, i agree. good to see you here again!!

free spirit :: love your poetic comment!! :)

stella :: worst hunger right? thanks :)

stella said...

worst hunger and hangover/

lol. we manage.

Lorena said...

so true :)

Leslie said...

Lovely words for a lovely picture. A bit sad though.

Lorena said...

hi leslie, yeah, it is sad...:) thanks for dropping by.

Potted-flower said...

I am a brick when it comes to emotion. A crying brick.

Lorena said...

really potted flower? :)

iamnasra said...

moments of poverty

let happiness creep in your soul
where delightness takes heartliy shape...changes leaves of poverty touching you and those around you with joy