Monday, May 02, 2005

honesty is the best policy?

Really? Try telling that to all those who lie. It is amazing how a large part of the population does, granted I can only go by those I know and damn am I amazed!

The Liars. I can understand those small, white lies "yes, the dress looks nice on you" (since they've asked)..or..."i don't have a problem waiting for you, it's okay" but anything outside of this I really don't care for. First of, isn't lying too much work? Don't you have to remember what you've lied about so that you are not found out? Granted, it has become a habit to some, they just layer it with another lie. Pretty soon they don't know the truth if it bitt them in the ass! And secondly, don't you feel bad when you are lying? I can honestly, honestly say that I can not lie to save the life of me. Actually that might be the only time I save my life. Otherwise, it's not for me, it doesn't feel right. And seriously folks, if you tell me how you've lied to someone else about this or that NEWS FLASH: do you really think that I won't think you'll lie to me! yeah, add STUPID to LIAR because that is what you are!

The Honest ones. We do have a price to pay for being honest. I've had people afraid to tell me something because they would not like what I would have to say. Not because I would be critical but because they'd know I wouldn't just say "oh, that's ok" after the fifth time they've made some excuse for something they can't keep their word on. I'm sorry, I don't do B.S. It also puts you at a risk of being seen as critical or judgemental. If I give "my opinion" on something or someone, the person listening is then going to be cautious on how they act around me. They are not above me because as they make this assumption knock knock you are guilty of the same thing you are trying to call me. The big difference is that I'm not hiding who I am.

If you are not honest, you are phony and no amount of smiling is going to change that. I don't think it's worth chosing to be liked over being true to yourself and that is a big reason why people lie. That and because they are selfish. Can you really respect someone who lies? I can't.

By the way, don't give yourself a gold medal because you consider yourself someone 'who speaks her mind'. If what you have to say hurts, degrades and is told with bad intentions and comes from a place of jealousy or envy; save your truth for someone who gives a damn! And don't give me the "i'm just kidding" at the end of the sentence because guess who the real joke is.

(just standing up for the honest ones :)


Mystique said...

Sadly, honesty these days seems so vague with some people, and that means that we learn to distrust each other.

Anonymous said...

can you send your e-mail address
have pictures of your friend from the band that played here in dallas, at the texas stadium for cinco de mayo

Anonymous said... pictured of Marisol. more will be posted soon

transience said...

well said, lorena. sorry to be less than my usual babbling self.

venus said...

Lying comes out of may reasons, I agree, if u lie for saving a life, it's acceptable. Insead of lying, give information on "need basis", so even if one is afraid of the other being judgemental, this way you still spend good time together without lying.

Lorena said...

mystique :: i know it is pretty sad. i'm just trying to understand where it's rooted from.

anonymous :: thanks for letting me know about Marisol. I will visit the website for pictures.

transience :: i completely understand. thanks for still making your presence known :)

venus :: that is a good point, the "need to know basis" but there have better be a good reason for it. if you fear being judged understand that you are also judging that person as well.
however what's important in the end is just being yourself and people can either accept and love you for who you are or they can keep on walking :)

Fist said...

"Don't you have to remember what you've lied about so that you are not found out?"

Not really, if you have a sense of humour and aren't really bothered about other people, or at least certain other people, the ones lied to.

"And secondly, don't you feel bad when you are lying?"


I guess you wouldn't like me if you met me. Hell, I shoulda lied above, shouldn't I?

Lorena said...

he he :) but i respect you for your honesty Fist!

Anonymous said...

well written:)

lying ,sometimes we do it for a reason.but you're right honesty is always the best thing to do....

mermaid said...

It's hard to find honesty. If I were totally honest, I would say I used to lie in order to spare their feelings. Now, silence is sometimes better than saying everything that's on my mind. I think what scares people about honesty is the human connection that goes along with it. I'd much rather hear a person's thoughts than drink at a bar and pretend to shout and have real conversation.

Pezgirl said...

Amen to that. I'm a pretty honest person, almost brutally honest I'm afraid. And people do take it as me being rude, but I guess I'll have to live with that.

Lorena said...
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Lorena said...

eden :: yeah sometimes there is a good reason, some exceptions but i rarely come across any. thanks :)

mermaid :: yes, silence is golden sometimes.
honesty does require that you like the person you are in order to be comfortable in saying what you feel without fear of rejection and i can see that being hard for some. i'd also choose listening to a meaningful conversation over small talk in a bar.

pezgirl :: so we have that in common :)

Lorena said...
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