Friday, August 26, 2005

i remain still, thinking

surrounded by that which i feel
will drown me



i
remain
still,
thinking


spinning from one feeling to another
leaves me dizzy

i
remain
still,
thinking




thinking of why, where, when it will happen for me
i am cautious and i am reckless
fully conscious
i have never tested these waters
only jumped the waves
staying where it's shallow
where it's safe

as i look down at your deep waters
i realize i have no other choice
but to dive as steep as i can go

towards you and all the feelings it can bring
as far as my heart can take it
as close as you will let me
swimming inside all that promises to
save me or break me

fear keeps me frozen
love forces me to take the leap

the treasure that i will
find underneath
i have a key that i hope
will unlock it for me

i close my eyes
take a deep breath
and count to three

i am swimming in a vast array of emotions.
      i feel free.
       i feel locked.
           i feel happy.
            i feel sad.
panic overwhelms me
as i realize
i don't know how to swim.

35 comments:

Pam said...

Wow! Did you write this? Its pretty powerful I really like it.

I just wrote a little story the other day about a little girl so consumed with the beauty of butterfly, that she started chasing it, only to find herself face to face with a lion in its den.

Its odd really how something so beautiful can consume us only to become so destructive in the end due to how we allow ourselves to become so captivated by the beauty we want to touch.

iamnasra said...

Very Magical...You wrote while all in peace with your self..gazing in to the calm water and it sure had it reflected its calmness in your writing....

Lorena
I feel so starnge Im 2nd over here ..I never reached No 2 Im really making a history in your comments being the No 2.....

iamnasra said...

Lorena as I finished pressing the button I came back to check maybe someoone else beat me to No 2 by a mili second ..I guess I made it after all

rhein said...

wow, such a great use of photos and poetry. i love it.

irina said...

so many times we humans realize we don't know how to swim after we have dived... Not only related to romance. And there is a certain beauty and courage in this... There's panic that urges you to adapt your "body" to the waters and survive. I have always sensed a kind of creativeness in panic...

vishnoi said...

nice thoughts to put up with a womant thinker :)

Russell Ragsdale said...

No one knows how to swim in that water, as I'm sure you realized! Beautiful music, starting so quietly, then hurrying a little. I thought this was wonderful!

mariposatomica said...

You weave photos and words very well! Felicidades!
Estoy organizando una obra de teatro y una exposición de arte espero ver te en uno de estos eventos.

Carrie said...

lorena....i really don't know how you do it....but your pics and words go so wonderfully together. such beauty and such feeling eminates from each.

Nurse Mia said...

I love this post - the photos and the text. I totally relate to this feeling of being still, but dizzy with thought. I, however, am at a place where I am diving in deeper to myself, which is just as frightening as diving in to someone else.

sirbarrett said...

I feel like I can read your posts and then let the mood of your poetry consume me until it is spent. Although this expresses a feeling of panic and disconnection, it speaks to the letting go of previous inhibitions. Dive deep. It seems like once you are immersed, you quickly end up in the middle, and it isn't much farther to reach the bottom than it is to resurface. Why not explore further?

gulnaz said...

god that wonderful!!! i could relate to every word, every line!!
it was like you read my mind!

and the photographs are good too, they go well with the words. :)

Potted-flower said...

your poetry never fails to awe me. beautiful.

Tomas said...

i could make this comment very simple... all i really needed to type is

'ditto'

yr mix of poetry and photos
the picture you paint as a whole

and what i love most here is the yen and yang throughout the piece...
truly, cautious and reckless at the same time

once again, you cause me to pause and 'see'

Lorena said...

pam :: yes i did and thank you :)!! i would visit your blog but i can't find it!! so i can read this story. thanks for leaving such wise words at the end. really made me think. thank you for visiting!

iamnasra :: i love that you see it like this. sometimes i feel at peace & sometimes i don't. hey, your were #2 after all!! thank you for your wonderful thoughts as always!

rhein :: thank you. glad you visited.

irina :: yes this can be applied to all areas of our lives. and you are right about panic. nice way of putting it. thanks for sharing :)

aashish :: thank you!

russell :: thank you. love the analogy :)

mariposatomica :: thank you :) maybe you should mention the specifics on your blog. i would love to check one of them out.

mitzzee :: thank you girl! you are sweet as always.

nurse mia :: you are right. getting closer to truth is always a frightening experience but a very worthy one. i wish you all the best. thanks for your kind words :)

sirbarrett :: thanks for your wise words! it really helps when people put things in perspective as you have. that's true, why not go deeper. thanks for sharing this :)

gulnaz :: thanks sweetie. i feel the same way of what you write. isn't it a great feeling? :)

potted-flower :: thanks sweetie :) glad to see you more often.

tomas :: how flattering. thanks. yeah feelings are like that sometimes, at two extremes.

. : A : . said...

You put the words into her silence. Beautiful.

Vaibhav said...

Hi!
Hey I am from Chicago as well!
Check out my kissay @
http://kissay.rediffblogs.com

Pam said...

Lorena...I deleted my blog last week, but still like to visit the blog of others.

I went back to writing my thoughts the old fashion way; with pen and paper. I look forward in visiting your blog often :)

Potted-flower said...

I might not come back yet, I am seeing...

sirbarrett said...

I like how your words create a neat relation to the pictures. It's funny to think of a statue not being able to step out of the fountain only because they don't know how to swim.

Canadian Corona said...

Very powerful peom. You were able to convey the feelings and emotion with such realization. Beautifully done.

gulnaz said...

the feeling of thinking on the same wavelength is that of joy at finding a freind. :)

mariposatomica said...

Lorena, voy a ir a la galeria arte de mexico este viernes con los siguientes blogeros y despues a tomar sangria;) Va ir bloggeros: Guiam, Blex, Irasali, Analisa, Dr.Vodka y Gazoo. Los detalles de la exposición de arte estan en http://www.artbotanas.blogspot.com. nos vemos!

Jaxe said...

as i look down at your deep waters
i realize i have no other choice
but to dive as steep as i can go


Dive Lorena. DIVE! Don't ever regret.... suck the marrow out of life !!! (and let us know how it goes) ;-) Great poem, I felt like I was the ping-pong ball in your brain bouncing back and forth...

j

gusgreeper said...

you need to publish a book like ASAP with pictures and poems. you are amazing! :)

The Scientist said...

Yes, my beautiful one; it is uncertainty, and her son the fear the element that petrifies our mortal flesh. Maybe is that why Jesus told Peter to walk above the water, ignoring the storm, maybe that is the call of the courageous love...

Hey, I am overwhelmed of admiration, after seeing that beautiful dancing movie you did (because that sequence does not have another name), the lights entering through the large windows, the figures at the center, making it a gravitational axe for the whole scen to spin, and the diference between the movement of the lovers (dancers) and the stilness of the audience is a homage to the dynamics of love, against the stilness of emptyness. Those images are so ageless that you could say you took them in 1940 and I believe you...

Jesus, Lorena, once again the fire of admiration has melted me...

And the children pictures... About that I woul tell you in another message...

Oh, Lord, it is so good to be back home!

Take care and God bless you...

H.

The Scientist said...

Read it again, and more in shock with your virtuosism in writing with images and the absolutely brilliant self portrait of your poet soul...

But after readong I realised something: Nobody knows how to swim, but those who drowned never repent...

Take care and God bless you...

The Scientist said...

And almost always, you end walking over the water after you have dived to the bottom. After ward there is the miracle, which could be the begining of a second stage, in which you dive toward Heaven...

Take care and God bless you...

H.

Lorena said...

,:A:. :: thanks. i do that a lot, well put words in people's mouth :) never in my favor though..haha. anyhow,

vaibhav :: ok will do so.

pam :: i understand. well i'm glad you will still visit, thanks!

ok potted flower :( :)

sirbarrett :: true. if only she knew the water really isn't that deep. that we humans can take more than we think we can :)

canadian corona :: thank you :)

gulnaz :: very true. makes the world smaller :)

mariposaatomia :: gracias por la informacion. no puedo ir este viernes pero ya se a donde puedo ir to inquire of future events. (excuse my spanglish :) thanks for letting me know!!

jaxe :: i'm trying, i swear!!! :) because for so long all i did was stand by the edge and dipped my toes in the water. thanks for your sweet words!!

corinna :: you are so sweet. as long as you do the same with your wonderful photographs of scans!!

the scientist :: happy to see you back. always writing such beautiful comments. i especially loved how you said of the tango pictures
"between the movement of the lovers (dancers) and the stillness of the audience is a homage to the dynamics of love, against the stillness of emptyness" - love that observation!
thanks always for your kind words. hope you are doing well. take care! :)

Faith said...

Hi Lorena,
Long time I haven't been here *sorry* I was in a vacation..
I was just going thru your new poems -the ones I missed- they are all amazing as always, but this one really amazed me.. I loved the pictures which speaks the words.. I can totally relate to this poem .. Well done!

Lorena said...

glad you're back faith!! :) thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

_Soulless_ said...

i have never tested these waters
only jumped the waves


These lines moved me so much into reliving memories... Sigh. Your poetry is getting more and more evocative, precious one. *hug*

^_^

Lorena said...

thank you. it's very encouraging :) especially from such a talented poet you are!

Benjamin said...

Hi Lorena. Beautiful pictures and a lovely spirit to these words.

Lorena said...

thanks benjamin :)