how did are turn into were
and am turn into was
all within a few seconds
i think i'm going to need a few minutes to digest it all
because even though you flipped the switch
with no problem it seems
when the lights went off for me i
was caught off balance and now i need some time
when the lights went off for me i
was caught off balance and now i need some time
to adjust to this uneven equilibrium
as i feel my way across this dark room
to find the switch i need to flip
so that i can shed some light and understand this
verb change
that so easily flowed from your lips
and reached me unexpectedly like a disease
i guess i'm a little slow
and reached me unexpectedly like a disease
i guess i'm a little slow
give me a few seconds
because i'm still numb
and i feel torn.
....
.
[ d should follow like, smacked between you and i ??? ]
.................
....
.
I--- likeD(you). .
...
..
.
..
.
21 comments:
i feel you here, lore. i missed how your poetry always pinched my heart.
this too will pass. hang in there.
very nice, very creative form.
oh, my dear lorena...
your words catch my breath, grab my heart, and fill my skin with goosebumps...
how wonderfully, beautifully written, brilliantly expressed...
you have truly captured this experience...
and if it is your current experience, i wish you many blessings as you wend your way through its course...
thank you for giving this to the rest of us...
in a second my world goes up side down...
it was second when I heard that phone ring
Then it was cry on the other side
I was told he is no longer with us
I recall that second when I heard my Dad died
I now realize it takes a second for things to go round
Awesome.. The way you play with emotions is unbelievable.. Lovely flow to the entire post! Pls dont think I say all this to jus flatter you.. Your writing is really worth the credits that it is getting! You are talented... Make good use of it!
Hope n pray that you find the 'switch' soon!! The switch that takes away all the hurt... :)
Ouch, Lorena. I hope you aren't permanently blinded when the light comes again. Till then, don't push the darkness away. Wear it like the warmest cloak, until the light returns.
rain :: i'm so glad to see you back!! i tried going to your blog and it was empty. thanks for your sweet words, it means a lot that you could feel it.
thanks Pele :)
thanks Ghost Particle :)
feminine expressions :: thank you for your kind words. it's good to hear that i was able to capture this experience. i am now removed from this feeling but thanks for your concern :)
iamnasra :: wow, sorry to hear of how things changed for you in a second. it really puts things in perspective.
i hope this wasn't recent, either way i hope you heart is healing as only it can with such a big loss. take care sweetie :)
johnny boy :: you are sweet. thanks for such a lovely comment. i'm glad i'm able to put my emotions into such use that it can be expressed and felt. thanks for lifting my spirits with the words you left :)
mermaid :: i like that it can bring about an 'Ouch'!! i will do like you said, wear it like a warm cloak. thank you :) for always bringing me inspiration!!
I reckon it takes less than the speed of light sometimes for things to turn past tense. Or maybe they turn past participle first, which can be quite confusing when it is like that.
Interesting poem and made me pondered. :)
I have never encountered such a perfect description of the surprise only your heart can feel.
Rock on!
Good poem Lorena. Well thought out structure. I think it speaks to us of that shock that never truly sinks in because we don't want it to. We hold on to a vision in the dark. I'm a little slow too. Even with hours and days, is there anything really to figure out when something like this happens? It's at those times, that I remember what things were like in the present tense.
unique one :) cute!
All it takes is a second to make lonely feel like an eternity.
genious! how sad when love chooses to leave
Such pain in the blink of an eye
Philosophical and poignant- you captured such so well!
I sure hope events turn for the beter for you!
SilvermOOn
i dont like being able to relate to this. ;)
Very nice though.
I love this it's so very clever, it breathes confusion and heart ache
this is beautiful although sad. my best to you!
This was all too clever and unique, though sad. You captured the moment in crystalline distillation. Hopefully the feeling didn't last long.
This is fresh - the verbs flipping over and your take on realtionships! Lovely! :-)
Cheers
liz :: thanks. i think you can make a choice to change it, the feeling follows after. nonetheless the recipient is left trying to piece it all together.
rex venom :: thank you :)
sirbarrett :: yeah, i completely agree, all the present feelings come rushing in. lovely take on it :)
thank eden!
free spirit :: if only there was a way to not feel like it's forever.
gusgreeper :: yeah sometimes. thanks.
amie :: thanks.
green-eyed lady :: thanks for your concern. i'm doing well.
deem :: i'm with you! thanks.
sue hardy-dawson :: i love your description. thanks :)
neel :: welcome back and thanks.
Ô¿Ô :: thanks :) for the sweet comment.
dan husain :: thank you :)
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