Sunday, October 30, 2005

holding my heart



holding my heart in my hands
has helped me to understand how damaging it is
for my spirit to walk this earth protecting myself
by playing it safe all in the misconception that i could not take it
if someone would hold it carelessly and break it
...
carrying it in my hands has revealed
how delicate it is and how neglected it's been
and i finally have to accept with sadness
how i'm the only one to blame and
i'm the one i have to fight
and it's taken me this moment
to accept that it can not be deprived anymore
of a love that it deserves
of a chemistry that can transform
...

it's been tiring standing here with this heavy heart
that's so afraid of flying but always craving the height
and all that matters now is that i am present in this moment
getting ready to out run my fears, my past
and free my heart so that it can fly

...
and i can not wait to give it to someone
and feel the lightness of two hearts meeting
explore the dimensions of every corner of my heart ;
the curves, the shape of what will grow from love
without inhibitions and fall into a kiss that promises
to revive
my soul
...

i always understood the value of love
i just had trouble accepting its loss

43 comments:

elkenarra said...

delighted one! you out done here!

rhein said...

wonderful writing, i feel exhausted readint it, i can feel what the writer felt:(.

mermaid said...

Won't pick a particular part, because I love the whole concept of holding your heart in your hands tenderly, and loving it before anyone else does.

Tomas said...

great combination of poetry and photography..... both so well done i wonder which came first

chikididu said...

It's hard not to wail over your writings, Lor.

Even a broken heart still weighs so much that the hands are easily getting tired of holding it. Maybe it's best to leave it on the floor instead of picking it up off the floor and offering its debris to whoever is willing to put some glue on it and trying to make it whole again.

transience said...

i adored the photos. they made me feel happy. but then the words just let melancholy in through the front door again.

eden said...

great shot and a wonderfull words here lorena!

just made me sad on the last part coz yup its really hard to loss love ey !

Michael Manning said...

What a beautiful flow to this one! I enjoyed it, as always!!

Sue hardy-Dawson said...

What a great story to add to the picture, it works so well

_Soulless_ said...

of a chemistry that can transform

A line that lingers long and well, Lorena. Such emotion in this piece elicits empathy. Especially with that ending. *wistful sigh*

sirbarrett said...

This is painfully true. It's hard to lose love, and even harder to love again after your heart is broken. "How do you mend a broken heart?" -Al Green? We can't hold our hearts in our hands forever, though it might seem easier that way. You will find love. Don't be afraid.

gulnaz said...

just loved this one!! ...totally relate to it as well...and with the statue.

Lorena said...

thanks elkenarra :)

rhein :: yes it is an exhausting feeling. perfect word, thanks :)

mermaid :: yes and i definitely love my heart :) thanks.

tomas :: thanks and good question. the feeling has always been there so the photograph (taken last year) and feeling caught up with each other :)

chikididu :: really :) you are right, it does weigh a lot. no you should definitely pick it up when you are ready and offer it to someone else! i love how you put it, so they can glue it back together, lovely thought, thanks for that!

transience :: thanks, i'm glad it made you feel happy :) heart matters always bring some melancholy i guess.

eden :: yeah it is hard but it's worth it as well. thanks for your sweet words :)

thanks Michael and Sue hardy-dawson :)

soulless :: thanks. yeah, our fears can really hurt us. it's tough giving in to love.

sirbarrett :: i like that song. it's sad but comforting as is your sweet comment. i think the good sign is that i'm holding it ready to offer it to someone. i'm making progress :)

thanks gulnaz :) we seem to be on the same page sometimes as far as romance is concerned!

-raindrops- said...

i used to feel that. but then i realized that avoiding a loss would be a bigger heartbreak to my humanity.

Brood Mode said...

that was a beautiful confession!

Pincushion said...

MY heart is full and my eyes tear-heavy (No exaggeration here. just the truth) Loss in love, unrequited love, all very painful but yes love is worth everything!
Thank you for this.

Lorena said...

rain :: i agree. we can be wise and know the importance but even that doesn't help sometimes. i think the bigger the heartbreak, the bigger the love.

brood mode :: i like the way you put that. it was a confession. :)

pincushion :: thank you for your kind words. i hope we all get touched by love in our lifetime.
cheers to love! :)

Roger Stevens said...

Lovely

Sounds a bit poor for a comment that, doesn't it? That's the trouble with being so near the end. Finding something fresh to say.

But lovely it is.

mariposatomica said...

El Corazón such a complex organ. Both the pix and the poem compliment each other so well. The ending I think is strong.

. : A : . said...

Beautifully delicate.

Shirazi said...

nupTotally loved this. And the statue? That is mine. That is me in there.

Sk8RN said...

This is so beautiful. I have found that keeping my heart safe has also hurt others, as well as protected me from the beauty of love.

Love is never truly lost. I still love everyone I've ever loved, even if they are not physically (or cyberly) connected to my life anymore. The love lives on.

sonrisa morena said...

this is sooo beautiful and so like i have been feeling like for years!!! you are an amazing writer!

Pecos Blue said...

I hope you are getting ready to publish because that was really great. I am never disapointed when I come here.

Patry Francis said...

Everything you want will come to you, Lorena. Keep holding your heart in your hands!

Beautiful words and photograph.

Jyotsna said...

"that i am present in this moment
getting ready to out run my fears, my past
and free my heart so that it can fly...."your words stirred me..all of them.the evry idea of holding our delicate hearts and trying to protect it from hurt is soul stirring..

Shubhodeep said...

first time here. came through sue's blog.
lovely post. loved it!
do drop by my blog sometime
http://shubhodeep.blogspot.com

iamnasra said...

I was breath taken with this poem....So much magic and glitter over here

Thank you for sharing your passion with us

DeeM said...

'getting ready to outrun my fears' i love that line.
my fears seem to be causing me to chase my own tail lately.
and, 'so afraid of flying but always craving the height'.
so beautifully stated. :)

johnny boy said...

Hey lorena..
Quite a while since i came by! Am sure u don remember me! :) Anywayz, this post was lovely.. I thought you had taken these lines as an extract from somewhere, but as i read thru the comments section, figured out that you wrote them urself! Its amazing.. Really goes straight to the heart. The very idea of 'holding my heart in my hands' is so relevant in our everyday lives! Made me think for a long time about a lot of stuff..
Keep the posts coming, will be a regular visitor from now on! :) In fact i have asked a few of my frnds to read this post, cos it really evokes a lot of thought!
john

bert moth said...

You leave yourself so open... so true and vulnerable in your writing. It's magical art.

Tomas said...

ah... signature of a true artist
:-)

dr.v (Not a narcotic Pez dispenser) said...

hola,
Had to stop by and take a peek.
I like this poem.

where did u get the images? just curious.

Russell Ragsdale said...

Nice to have you inside me again. Wonderful poem Lorena!

Dulce said...

what a wonderful combination of poetry and photographs...you move me everytime you post...

Leslie said...

I love this statue. You come up with the best words to descripe your photographs.

Danny Sillada said...

Lovely photo and poem.

Ghost Particle said...

A beautiful poem Lorena.

These lines are amazing...
'and i can not wait to give it to someone
and feel the lightness of two hearts meeting'.

Here's a reply to the poem;

'Of Love

Sometimes in the evening,
During those warm years,
We crossed path dreaming,
Unknowingly finding tears.'

-gp2005-

Lorena said...

thanks Roger :) it's alway nice to hear.

mariposatomica :: thanks. the ending carries a lot of weight for me.

thanks .:A:. :)

shirazi :: so cool that you can see yourself in this. "we are more alike than we are unlike" ~ maya angelou

sk8rn :: happy to see you again!! and thank you. i agree that love lives on. i just hope that we allow it to grow and not stomp on it before it does because then our fears have won and that would be a heavy loss. welcome back!

sonrisa morena :: thank you, glad you visited :)

pecos blue :: thank you for saying that, it means alot :)

patry francis :: thank you. i will continue to do so! :)

jyotsna :: thanks for the kind words. i love how you put it :)

thanks shubhodeep pal :) glad you visited.

nasra :: thank you for saying such sweet words. you help motivate me with your comments :)

deem :: thank you. be careful, step up to your fears :) (i should take my own advice!)

johnny boy :: i'm glad you came back. it really is amazing to read that what i put out there can reach someone else's heart. i think that is the ultimate reward and i was happy to read your sweet comment. it really made me smile reading what you said. Thank You :)

O?O :: thank you. i'm so glad you visited because i was able to wander to your blog which was amazing!

tomas :: you are always so sweet :) thanks.

dr.vodka :: hola, glad you dropped by. i took these photographs in Venice last year when i went.

thanks Russell :)

dulce :: the idea of "moving someone" big compliment, thanks :)

thanks leslie & danny :)

ghost particle :: thanks for the poem!! i think it happens a lot, crossing paths through dreaming. i love this idea...beautiful :)

Dan Husain said...

I don't think I've read a better poem describing the apprehension one feels before falling in love. Absolutely wonderful! :-)

Cheers

Dan

Lorena said...

thanks dan :) glad i was able to express myself in such a way that was understood. thanks for visiting!

Green-Eyed Lady(GEL) said...

Love is fragile. Life comes with its ups and downs. The downs are an unbearable weight plus it's so hard to wait until your heart is lifted again. I remember and feel for you. (
SilvermOOn (aka Green-eyed Lady)

Lorena said...

thank you green-eyed lady :)